Funny stories of picking up girls

[John B.]

So I figured we could share stories of time where we got a girls number (or got rejected) that are funny. He is a good one.

Today at work I was talking to the new girl. I had been flirting with her, performed a bit of magic , and blew her mind. Well I walked her out to her car when we got off and asked for her number. She was trying to give it to me and my phone decided I did not need it or something because every time I went to type it in, it backed out to the main page. Was really embarrassed but luckily she does has my business card from early when I told her I did magic. She said she would message me.

[shutupdangit]

Last year on Halloween a buddy and I were standing outside a bar watching all the drunk people when a (fairly attractive) girl dressed up in a black leather fireman's costume walks up to us and asks "Does anyone here need CPR?". Without even thinking about it, I said "I do because my heart just stopped". She paused for a beat and then walked away.

[xela]

A few years ago I was working at a gym when this hottie walks up to me and asks my name. I said "bitch, shut up" and lifted her as high as I could, when she farted. It smelled up the whole place and we all had a laugh.

[Don Boyer]

A few years ago I was working at a gym when this hottie walks up to me and asks my name. I said "bitch, shut up" and lifted her as high as I could, when she farted. It smelled up the whole place and we all had a laugh.

Sounds more like a fever dream after having one too many Grandma slices... 

[John Spade]

Last year I asked a girl I hardly knew to a dance with a card trick. We've now been dating for almost a year and a half.

#truelove5EVER

[xela]

A few years ago I was working at a gym when this hottie walks up to me and asks my name. I said "bitch, shut up" and lifted her as high as I could, when she farted. It smelled up the whole place and we all had a laugh.

Sounds more like a fever dream after having one too many Grandma slices... 

The joke went woosh didn't it bud

[Don Boyer]

Last year I asked a girl I hardly knew to a dance with a card trick. We've now been dating for almost a year and a half.

#truelove5EVER

I have to ask - is 5EVER longer than 4EVER?  4EVER is a pretty long time already, so I can't only imagine how long 5EVER is.  Since I met my wife later in life, our love is probably more like 2EVER...

The joke went woosh didn't it bud

Well, it was more of an inside joke...

[Ryan]

A couple weeks ago I said to some girl 'Excuse me, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?' She was like WTF and I finished it with 'Enough to break the ice, Hi i'm Ryan nice to meet you ' She laughed at me said smooth and walked off. One to be undeterred I tried it later on in the night and a girl bought be a couple of drinks for effort (she felt sorry for me clearly lol).

[Nurul]

Before I hooked up with my girlfriend, me n my mates use to go out on th town tryna pull as many girls as we could (as u do lol). I didn't so much have a pickup line but I had a move. At th card machines people would print out receipts and leave them around th ATM, I'd go around looking for one that had th largest amount n stick it in my pocket. So when it came to giving a girl my number, is take th receipt out n write my number on th back of it n leave it wit them .. U hav some greedy women out there lol

[Don Boyer]

Before I hooked up with my girlfriend, me n my mates use to go out on th town tryna pull as many girls as we could (as u do lol). I didn't so much have a pickup line but I had a move. At th card machines people would print out receipts and leave them around th ATM, I'd go around looking for one that had th largest amount n stick it in my pocket. So when it came to giving a girl my number, is take th receipt out n write my number on th back of it n leave it wit them .. U hav some greedy women out there lol

Oh, let me count the ways that can backfire!!

Well, there was this time I met a girl in a fetish party...  But at a fetish party it's almost like shooting big fish in a small barrel with a shoulder-mounted rocket... 

[Nurul]

But it didn't backfire .. In every attempt (was only like 4 times) I succeeded 

[DrianAbara]

Once did a card trick at a cast party after we finished doing our school play, and a girl thought it was really cool that I did magic (for once...) and now it's gonna be our anniversary next month on the 5th of March!

[Don Boyer]

But it didn't backfire .. In every attempt (was only like 4 times) I succeeded 

I wasn't referring to the initial success.  I was referring to the fact that you've given the girl false impressions of how "wealthy" you actually are - now THAT can backfire, especially when she wants you to take her to some posh restaurant that would be out of your budget if you earned twice as much as you do... 

Once did a card trick at a cast party after we finished doing our school play, and a girl thought it was really cool that I did magic (for once...) and now it's gonna be our anniversary next month on the 5th of March!

Good for you.  I did the same thing on an "Internet-created" blind date with a girl in July 2011.  We were married August 2012 - on my birthday, no less.  She makes me happy every day.

[Nurul]

But it didn't backfire .. In every attempt (was only like 4 times) I succeeded 

I wasn't referring to the initial success.  I was referring to the fact that you've given the girl false impressions of how "wealthy" you actually are - now THAT can backfire, especially when she wants you to take her to some posh restaurant that would be out of your budget if you earned twice as much as you do... 

Ohhhh .. I gotcha lol only one was gullible enough to think I was, th others thought it was cheesy yet smooth lol

[RSLancastr]

Before I hooked up with my girlfriend, me n my mates use to go out on th town tryna pull as many girls as we could (as u do lol). I didn't so much have a pickup line but I had a move. At th card machines people would print out receipts and leave them around th ATM, I'd go around looking for one that had th largest amount n stick it in my pocket. So when it came to giving a girl my number, is take th receipt out n write my number on th back of it n leave it wit them .. U hav some greedy women out there lol

There was a well-known radio talk show host (I forget his name) who used to recommend that very same ruse, and would even name some of the best banks in the Los Angeles area for finding the biggest receipts.

ETA: The talk show host's name was Tom Lykis.

I don't recall the last pickup line I used, just that it was on match.com.

Whatever it was, it worked - we've been married for five and a half years now.